Hurried thoughts

Stress is accumulating as the pace of lessons accelerates. Coupled with this new online tutoring job I undertook, I feel panic attacks coming up. Have not been studying much cos I've been meeting up with friends who are leaving. This feeble excuse is exhausted as Cui has just left for NY this morning and Des is leaving next week. I'm probably exhausted by everybody's issues too. I thought we have passed the stage of crushes and agony but apparently not.

Then I worry about my heart. Nat Geo reported that many 20 something year olds have clogged arteries. I feel that mine have always been clogged. Die. Considering that our heart pulses 100,000 a day, I'm surprised that it hasn't died out (not that I'm hoping it would). It must be the most powerful "machine" on Earth since it requires no maintenance unlike non-living ones. How ironic that we send our handphones and computers for regular servicing but nobody seems to care a hoot about our hearts.

Was locked out of my house yesterday so I camped at the Central Library. I love the library's spacious and breezy centre air well outside, its comfy couches inside and of course the free wireless network available. Singapore's going wireless (WirelessSG)! In between legal research, I was distracted by 2 lavish pictorial books.

Amish Life - Living Plainly and Serving God opens with a historical narration of these god-fearing, community-centric groups of Americans who eschew modernity for a simple and peaceful life. Hamptons Pleasures is really, the opposite. It describes the beauty of countryside-cum-beach living (many tiny hamlets and villages to explore. Sighhh!). Long Beach, NY reeks of money for that matter. I couldn't help swooning and building airy sandcastles of having a summer house there! Novels aside, I like reading about people, their habitats, cultures and habits. It’s fascinating to discover details about the lives of people I’ll probably never ever meet.

Heartstrings

Spent a surreal night wandering around Kovan with Cui after tuition. It's surreal cos I don't usually wander around neigbourhoods aimlesly at night and also because the darkness makes the surrounding more mysterious and magical. But that's the point. The best part tonight was the aimlessness and wasting time, the uninhibited musing aloud and the comfortable companionship. I don't deny that I felt a little guilty of not doing something more “constructive” but the guilt was fleeting.

HDB neighbourhoods are comforting and familiar havens. I realise that I'm getting fonder of my little/ulu/out of the way nighbourhood. The kampong spirit must be getting to me. And probably because I tutor half of Ubi's primary school kids. It is pleasing to recognize and acknowledge other flat dwellers (such actions incidentally build social capital thus accelerating a country’s development). Kovan is a rather chilloutable neighbourhood (it even has study carrels at the void deck. Amazing.). I feel the similar good vibes I get from other places like Marine Parade, Bukit Timah and Pasir Ris. Neighbourhoods like Bedok and Clementi simply emanate bad vibes.

Cui and I traipsed all the way to the Selegie bean curd’s Kovan branch. I guess you pay for what you get because the bean curd was the silkiest I’ve ever tried though it’s double the price of normal bean curd. We rambled through Hougang estate and she showed me her fav haunts which included playgrounds. I have not grown out of playgrounds! I just adore swings, see-saws, roundabouts and jungle gyms (or whatever those pyramidal structures made of ropes are called). It’s probably the first time since Kinabalu that I scaled something more than twice my height.

The night was cool and quiet. The breeze had a somniferous and calming effect.

I felt wistful and sad. I wonder when I’ll do all these random things again. Cui is going to NY and when she returns – if she ever wants to return – I’ll be working. I’m afraid that she’ll turn into a more materialistic (it’s NYC afterall) and less kindred person. I’m even more afraid that I’ll become a jaded and disenchanted working adult (highly probably in a legal career) who is too tired to care about anything. I’ve decided that I want part of my soul to remain childish. Yes, childish. There’s too much to lose otherwise.

Discovery

I really like coming home in the early afternoon where you can feel the hustle and bustle around you without having to join in the hurried crowd. Stopping at the Ubi Ave 2 bus stop today, I don't know what made me walk off the pavement across the uneven grass patch to peer into the canal. I didn't even realise what I did until I did it.

To my surprise and delight, I saw hundreds of fishes in different shapes and sizes swimming merrily in a trough of water probably less than 15cm deep! I expected to see a dried up canal bed and not a canal teeming with aquatic life! I spotted tiny black and silver ones, larger silver ones with black strips and the eye-catching black ones with a splash of red on their tails. Like every nature deprived Singaporean, I was amazed to see so many living things thriving in a common place drainage canal that is almost dried up!

Debating whether to continue observing and look like a weirdo in front of the full traffic and lunch crowd, I decided to heck the stares and admire my unexpected discovery. The funny thing was when I looked up again, I saw a few people staring down too (totally herd instinct) and overheard a lady commenting that fish shop owners should come and fish for free.

Anyway canals are fascinating and very underrated habitats. The huge canal outside BTC between Bukit Timah and Dunearn Road is visited by egrets in Dec when the canal bed transforms into a swampy mess. The canal along Zion Road have crabs living in muddy little holes while the drains outside Zouk used to have fishes. I guess my grandparents instilled in me this weird habit of looking into canals when they brought me "canal watching" back then.

Trigger happy

First week of school has been uneventful. Readings have not piled, exhaustion has not sunk in and I'm not sick of law people yet. In fact it was rather pleasant to see my schoolmates especially those who just returned from exchange.

I'm taking a weird mix of modules. European energy law and climate change is taught by this distinguished looking Belgium prof (think George Clooney); IP law is relaxed for now and quite interesting; Aviation law is very demanding; the prof in IT law is funny so class is bearable and I'm curious to see how Legal Anthropology will be like.

What I miss most about hols is the unrestricted freedom to luxuriate in lazy afternoon sunshine and to read what I like without feeling guilty that I should be reading legal stuff. And what depresses me is that I'll no longer have any long summer holidays. ARRGGHHH.

So I spent the last breezy and sunny day of My Last Long Summer of Fun bumming with friends at Vivo. We took lots of pics, perhaps unconsciously sensing that such gatherings would be rare in future. Most of us are staring school, Yilynn is working and Des is going to Switzerland.

Lunch was dim sum buffet at Dragon Pearl restaurant - this rather ulu place tucked in Harbourfront Centre. It was surprisingly crowded with teenagers.

With no plan in mind, we wandered over to VivoCity which is becoming one of my favourite shopping malls because of its eye-popping variety of shops and the fact that I don't have to squeeze with everybody else. Breathing space in shopping centres is almost unheard of here.

Vivo has this spacious roof top terrace with wading pools, artistic structures and little pockets of turfs. Its layered wooden decks face Sentosa and the sea so it makes a pretty background for photo taking.



Captured a cute "I Love U" pose of SY, Yilynn and Siying.

These interesting cheese-like sculptures remind me of portholes on a ship!



Lazing on the grass amidst stares...


The food court and restaurants were packed in the evening so we had a "picnic" at the large outdoor amphitheater.


I think we got a little heady under the warm glow of the theater and gentle sea breeze hence the crazy ideas that followed. Somebody suggested taking "pageant pics" so the girls took turns at choreographing. Thinking back, it's kinda embarrassing but I guess we're all less self conscious and aware of public opinion with friends around.

Cold hot death

Been thinking about death lately. Not because I'm depressed or anything but I've been reading this book which has some issues about death. So which is more destructive - fire or ice?

Both lethal yet life sustaining. Both opposites, both enemies of each other. I've always wondered about the hypothetical question of whether freezing or burning to death is the better alternative. I think I'd rather freeze (a long deep slumber) than bear the pain and agony of being roasted alive.

Fire is more destructive. Ironically, hell is pictured as both fiery (Christian depiction) and icy (think Dante's ninth circle of hell). But imagine a world ravaged by flames and a world covered in ice - peaceful, still and bright. Surely ice is less terrifying. Again, think of how animals and humans live and venture to the coldest regions of Earth yet few can survive the heat of the Earth's fire - volcanic craters. Picture a body encased in ice and a body burnt into ashes. I can imagine the terror of burning in an inferno.

But perhaps ice is a more menacing killer. It kills noiselessly, sneakily and cleanly. You might not even know you're dead.

Anyway this is the poem that had me thinking so much about such morbid stuff:

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

- Robert Frost

Reward

I think my blood pressure increased by a few points today when Borders told me that Eclipse was sold out. After monitoring all the local bookstores' online inventories since 7th Aug when the book was released in the US, I cannot believe that I'll be so unlucky to have the book sold out on me. ARRGH. I've never waited so expectantly for a book, not even for Harry Potter.

Luckily, Kino ordered a sufficient supply to appease all fans so I managed to lay my hands on the hardcover copy. My blood pressure shot up again when I spotted the cover I've seen so many times online and never within reach.

I realise that NY Times bestselling authors or other award-winning authors will have their books published in hard cover first while the paperback will be released months later. I guess hard cover is a sign of popularity (remember the first three Harry Potter books were published in paperbacks before Bloomsbury published the rest in hard cover when the success of the sequels was secured) cos crazy people like me are willing to fork out almost double the price rather than wait for the cheaper version.

Story - Girl falls in love with boy vampire and the course of love never did run smooth, even more so between mortals and immortals.

Comment - It is not the slightest bit as corny as it may sound. Adults have been known to be susceptible to the enthralling story. Go ask my mom and her colleague.


Twilight - the first book in the series - remains as my favourite. New Moon - the second book - is no less arresting though.

Show your pride!

The national flag I hung is of a thinner material and slightly bigger than the old one. The government has allowed Singaporeans to fly the flag for 2 months (Jul - Sept) instead of the usual 1 month. And to fit in with their proposed "hipper image", the govt has also allowed flags to be flown from cars, worn on bodies and painted on walls at home. That explains the unprecedented sightings of cars with a cute national flag jutting out from the roof.

Here are some droll comments from IS Magazine's "42 Reasons Why We Love Singapore":

• The fact that our island is small. That way, we can go to 10 parties in one night.

• The perennial state of good news. With the local media reporting only the good stuff, it's as if nothing bad ever happens. And after a while, you find yourself believing in it.

• Our ambition. We always aspire to outdo ourselves - every time.

• How there's air-conditioning everywhere. If there wasn't, no one would bother working or moving.

• Our currency. The fact that when we cross the bridge to the other side, we're twice as rich.

• Our long-suffering patience. We queue for hours if we think it's worth our time.

• The education system. It may seem unforgiving - but it's so competitive that by the time the kids here complete tertiary education, they can face anything - nightmarish jobs, hellish bosses, crazy deadlines and everything else.
  

• Our penchant for acronyms. It's funny to keep foreigners guessing what MRT, PAP, AWOL, MC, BS, NS and MPH means.

• Flip flops and shorts. Hey they're the national dress. Who needs high fashion?

• Our resourcefulness. Just look at how we "chope" seats in crowded hawker centres by using packs of tissue paper.

• Our Minister Mentor LKY. You'll never know what he's going to say next.

Pleasure

Split has come to Singapore and it was by chance that I discovered their summer collection in Isetan. Was very surprised that they brought this American brand in and promptly bought a casual strappy top in light of my delightful discovery. Horrors! I'm as superficial as a Bergdorf Blond and while BBs may have the need to exhaust their enormous fortunes, I have no excuse to spend indiscriminately.

I notice that "instant gratification from retain therapy" is a universal rule. Note the word "instant". Some people (like my mom) regret after she steps out of the shop. These people buy excessively and then whine incessantly. WHAT's the point of spending money and feeling worse after that? If you don't like something, chuck it.

When I'm feeling broke but need some RT, I head for Diaso which is probably the best thing that has ever come to Singapore (Toronto has similarly addictive Dollarshops). For the uninitiated, Diaso is a Japanese (does not mean that all the stuff are made in Japan) chain that sells almost everything under one roof. The best part: everything is $2 regardless of any GST increase. I swear I can't walk out of the store empty handed.

Lately, all my decision making dilemmas involve shopping. Like deciding whether to buy shampoo with avocado oil or macadamia oil - I chose avocado thinking that it is oilier hence more moisturizing. But after doing the Redken hair test online, I'm advised to use the Body Full range instead of All Soft range. Apparently, using a too-rich conditioner makes your hair look flat. Arrgh.

And then came the matter of what colour contacts to get. Urged by my surprisingly open minded optician, I opted for "groovy green" instead of the less striking brown. Perhaps I can now get a role in the upcoming Twilight movie haha.

Parks

One of my favourite Nat Geo issue ran a feature on saving the world's parks. I like how the author paid tribute to nature:

"That we should find nature rejuvenating is hardly surprising. After all, our tribe arose not in cinderbelt but in wild forests and grasslands. Our ears are made not for the stinging scream of sirens but for the sly scratch of a predator's paws and the whistle of the wind that warns of impending weather. Our eyes evolved to tease apart not the monotonous grays of cityscapes but the subtle gold, olive and burgundy hues that signaled ripe fruit and tender leaves, and our brains to reward our sensory efforts with deep feelings of pleasure."

And that rather sums up how we all feel about nature.

The author draws another interesting comparison between "voluntary attention" and "involuntary attention". Most of us exercise voluntary attention all the time when we concentrate on our daily doings but in nature, we give in to our involuntary attention which means we lose ourselves wholly and effortlessly into our natural environment.

Comfort food

It's surprising that I only appreciate Singapore's hawker food when I'm older. I guess my taste buds are aging too. I remember the after school hours in TK where we'd choose fast food over hawker food because it is cooler. It's the reverse now. Hawker food is cheap (means extra for shopping) and tasty and fast. Hawker centres are ubiquitous, food variety is good, no service charge and the only bad thing I can think of is the place is not very chilloutable.

Hawker food has been gathering alot of attention from the media too. So it was one weekend night when my parents, armed with a vague address they read from the papers, decided to check out a certain Jap food stall at Golden Mile foodcentre (yes the army market place). Unfortunately it was closed so they brought me to the highly rated (6 Makansutra spoons which is the highest rating and the only other time I saw a similar rating was at a Lontong stall at Commonwealth foodcentre) Happy Chef Western Food at Crawford Lane.

Ok I sniffed in disbelief that western food at hawker centres deserves such hype but I have to admit that the menu is more interesting than usual and more importantly, the food is rather good. I think what won me over was the side dish. Instead of the icky coleslaw or the stingy slices of tomato and cucumber, you'll get a generous portion of french beans and carrots (not the rock hard sticks we got at the CN Tower). Best of all, next to Happy Chef is the super-duper popular Hill St bah chor mee which I haven't tried cos the queue is totally discouraging.

Chicken Kiev - breaded fried chicken stuffed with cheese and ham.

Here's the cajun chicken I tried. The sauce tasted more like bbq than cajun but it's still not bad.

Country baked fish with mushroom sauce.

Fried mushrooms!

And the owner uses such pretty plates with Mary Engelbreit's designs!